On this International Men’s Day, I want to highlight the ongoing issue of men’s mental health. As someone who has experienced mental health difficulties over the last decade, it is a subject close to my heart and it can be difficult to see how things are going to improve when mental wellbeing is low.
The first point to make is that we are all unique human beings and there is no ‘one size fits all’ solution or magic formula; some people may struggle with poor or fluctuating mental health for their whole lives. So where to start? I’ve found the NHS 5 steps to mental wellbeing to be a simple yet meaningful framework that provides helpful tips whilst allowing the flexibility for people to adopt what works for them:
As humans, we are not designed to live in isolation but our modern world of ‘work from home’ and online collaboration tools means that we can spend whole days without seeing someone else in person. For me, meeting up with people for a coffee or face-to-face meeting is particularly energising as it allows a deeper connection than what we experience through a screen (remember the first time you met someone after lockdown and they were completely different to what you imagined?)
I also find that getting out into nature is incredibly positive and I’ll take every opportunity to go out for either a walk or a cycle out of the city. Learning new skills can have the same powerful impact, whether that’s playing a musical instrument or taking up a new hobby, but can also have the added benefit of human connection if done as part of a group. ‘Being physically active’ doesn’t mean that you suddenly have to become super fit or participate competitively but seeing a small improvement in some form of fitness where possible can help to raise your self-esteem and positively change your mood. A Stanford study even found that creative thinking can improve by an average of 60% when walking.
When we think of ‘giving to others’ it can be easy to jump straight to thinking about money and financial donations but giving in this context can often mean donating your time or being kind to someone. There are thousands of charities across the UK, many of whom are desperate for volunteers to help out in a small or large capacity. Or maybe this could be helping a friend with DIY or just visiting someone who can’t get out as much and doesn’t see many people.
Finally, when feeling low, it can be easy to ruminate on ‘better times’ and develop negative thought loops on the past, which can undermine hope for the future and make it harder to feel happier. I try and start each day with being grateful for the people and opportunities that I have been given and almost always find this positive reflection of counting my blessings a helpful exercise. Men can find it particularly difficult to ask for support due to historical stigmas about mental health, feeling the need to be strong and other factors such as family pressures.
As we go into winter and the days and nights get colder and darker, it can be easy for mental health to slip too. As you may have realised from reading this, connecting with people has been a vital part of my journey. So if you ever feel like talking, whatever it’s about, I’m always happy to meet up for a coffee and, if meeting in person isn’t practical, an online chat works too. I don’t have any magic formulae but I’ve found sometimes that one conversation can make all the difference.
Mental health matters so let’s keep talking. Let’s keep reaching out and asking for support. And as we keep moving forward, what one change could you make to improve your mental health?
Chris is the Business Development Director of The Learning Support Centre, an organisation dedicated to supporting the mental wellbeing of neurodivergent and disabled people in education and the workplace through professional, one-to-one support and training.
A few resources specifically for men: